Day 15

So I weighed in today and I've lost another 1.5 lbs! I keep looking at this and thinking the task is so big. I look at two pounds lost and think this is going to take such a long time. I have to keep telling myself it took 31 years to put it on, you can make it through about 18 months to take it off. I look at something sweet in the house and think to myself, do you want to eat that or do you want extra moments with your kids. I'm not struggling like I thought I would with temptations, but they are still there. I'm just changing how I think when I look at those foods I love. Good luck to all who are losing weight.....It's a long, bumpy road, but well worth the trip!

Day 10

So I've come to a conclusion. My weight loss seems to be going a little easier for me this time and I have an insight into why. All my life I've been the chubby funny girl who makes sure everyone else feels good. I don't like making people feel unhappy. I don't like fighting in any shape or form....and I don't like anyone to feel left out. Which works out GREAT for everyone but me. I usually feel bad, or left out, or get my feelings hurt.....So I've been not so concerned about what I do effecting others, but how it's effecting me and my kids and husband.

So enough about that....I am really starting to enjoy this working out thing. I'm hoping to make it to the "two week and it's a habit" mark, so looking forward to that! Good luck to all in their quest for health!

Day 9

Today was pretty good. Watched the Biggest Loser after my workout, and while I understand that the Dr. needs to do his job and tell people that being fat is unhealthy, but really is it that big of a shocker that you could die from being fat? I understand that my lungs are working harder, my heart is beating harder and that having more fat than muscle is a bad thing....hasn't escaped my attention, and I also know what I did to get there wasn't good either. Oh well I still like the show, and I'm not going to stop watching.

I'm also not going to stop doing the things I'm doing. I feel better this week, I'm not so short tempered and I've had very few cravings. So I think whatever I'm doing may be working......go figure ;)

Day 8

DOWN 3 LBS!!! I was hoping just to get 2. I figure if I lose my weight the right way, just a little bit a week, the more likely I am to keep it off. So three pounds is good to me!

So I guess this week I'll do the same things I did this past week. I am starting to enjoy the exercising. It's not such a chore for me, and I feel energized! So here's to me and another good week!

Day 7

Missed day six, but day seven went alright. The inlaws came down and took us to dinner. I did have a salad, and my dressing was on the side and I didn't finish it all, but the chicken was fried because I forgot to ask for it grilled. I did work out yesterday when I normally would have talked myself out of it, so KUDOS to me ;) Still havn't had that big craving that I expected to have so I hope it stays away for awhile.

I weigh in tomorrow for the first time....so we'll see what happens!!

Day 5

My hubby got home today and thank goodness while he was gone he got sick of eating out. He ate as good as he could, but was happy to get home to a home cooked meal, and healthy to boot ;)

So glad to have my partner in this weight loss thing back home with me. Not much else happened, but had a super awesome day.

Day 4

WHOO HOO!!! I'm feeling really good today. Maybe it's because Kyle comes home tomorrow from a business trip....maybe it's because I've been exercising....or maybe it's just because the kids are asleep and I have a moment to myself, but I'm feeling GREAT!!

I had shreaded wheat this morning for breakfast....which I think I'm addicted to now. I had a lean pocket for lunch with some carrots (not the best lunch, but it was in the freezer and I didn't succumb to the urge to do fast food), and for dinner I had a sandwitch.

I did my workout...and ended my night with my after workout snack of 1 oz of almonds and 1/2 oz of semi sweet chocolate chips. I'm still very suprised by the fact that I havn't had a Diet Pepsi since Saturday and I havn't blown up at anyone. I love a good cold Diet Pepsi, and I'm just amazed at how little I've craved it this week, lets hope it continues!

Day 3

So here I am on day three and I'm still doing it! I havn't drastically changed anything, just eating a little less...moving a little more and I havn't had a Diet Pepsi in 4 days. I think that may be a record for me.

So I got thinking as I was exercising tonight that on the Biggest Loser, Jillian is always trying to get to the root of the problem. Where it is that you started to gain weight or why you keep it on. I couldn't really come up with any one thing that triggers me. I have always been a bigger girl. There were certain people that would poke fun of me, but I tended to not hang around those people. I remember in elementary school there was a guy named Richie Brown and he was horrible to me. He wouldn't just get angry in school he would get violent. Most of the time he took his rage out on me. He would bite me or pull my hair and would scream at the top of his lungs "fatty". I remember telling my teachers (yes we were in more than one class together) many many times that he had done these things to me and I vividly remember them making him apologize for all the physical abuse. However if he had just called me that horrible "f" word they just told me to stay away from him and not let him bother me. Looking back on that now, I don't know if these teachers just didn't think that word was all that bad, or if they were thinking...hey kid you are what you are.

Anyway....getting back to my point. I don't hang around people who put me down, so I don't think that is my problem. I don't know what my problem with weight is yet, but hopefully during this next year I can pinpoint it, so I can get rid of some triggers. For right now I'm still motivated, and I'm still rambling in my own little world of blog.

Day 2

I've exercised, I ate well today and I'm looking forward to doing it again tomorrow. Well that's progress!!

Tonight the next season of the Biggest Loser started, and again I'm crying. I can relate to so may of these contestants and I've said the same things that they do. I watch the show and think to myself "I really should do somthing about myself", or I say "I would love to go do that...I could do it." SO WHY DON'T YOU!!! How long do I have to gain weight and be unhappy?

I've exercised two days in a row now, and I've heard it takes two weeks to make a habit, so here's to day three!

KEEP GOING!! DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!

January 4th, 2010...a new year a new me. I've decided to change my blog about random thoughts I have to focus on one thing that I've neglected....and that's ME!

I'm tired of making excuses and waiting till monday to do somthing with my life. I'm tired of just being TIRED. I want to be the person that I FEEL I am. I don't feel like I'm the big girl that I've turned into. I don't feel any different than I did when I was 16, but I look different. So I'm now going to make the outside match my insides

I have been watching a show on A&E called intervention. While I do not have a drinking problem that I'm aware of, and the only drugs I've taken were some pain pills after giving birth, I do have an eating/weight problem, and I think that's just as serious as being an alcoholic or a drug addict. It sounds cliche, but food is my drug. If it was possible to snort a cupcake, some days I think I would. So I'm facilitating my own intervention and writing down my journey to a smaller waist.

One year from today I will be closer to my goal than every before. I will not post my starting weight for now beause it embarasses me, but I will post that in one year I would like to have lost 100+ pounds. I want to lose this weight in a smarter way than I have before. I will exercise 5 days a week, and I will plan meals that are healthy. I'm going to change my attitude and thinking so I can change my life!!!

This is MY year....My time to do this!